Hey all, Dan here. I thought I’d take a break from my studies to bring you some hard hitting journalism. I thought it would be quite interesting if I reviewed every fast food place I have had in Spain. I think that these are the kinds of things people really want to know, so I feel it is my duty. Plus, I’m pretty bored right now.
#5 – Kentucky Fried Chicken
Wow, just wow. The Kentucky Fried Chicken sandwich had some of the faintest seasoning I have ever tasted. It felt like eating a Chic Fil A sandwich but if it tasted like TV static instead of homophobia. The large, thick potato wedge style fries I had had absolutely no seasoning on them whatsoever. Just flat, sad, floppy potato. The runt of the litter. The bottom of the barrel. If disappointment was a tangible food, it would be Spain KFC Rustic Potatoes.
#4 – Burger King
Despite being easily the most advertised fast-food joint over here, BK made the least of an impression for me. My chicken sandwich was a bizarre fried chicken burger that tasted and felt like a school cafeteria chicken patty. The fries were good but overall the most meh fast food meal I have had here. I don’t really have much else to say about Burger King here.
I later returned to the Burger King to try the new Spiderman: Across the Spiderverse whopper meal, and words cannot illustrate how disappointed I was eating this. It was literally a chicken sandwich with some crispy onions and a red bun. The bun did not offer any sort of bonus taste. Just boring, dry red bread.
#3 – Popeye’s
Popeyes is Popeyes is Popeyes is Popeyes. This was in line with Popeyes in the States. If you like Popeyes, then you will be satisfied with Spain Popeyes. It’s Popeyes. The menu was very similar to the Popeyes’s you’re used to with one glaring omission: no spicy chicken. That hit hard. Bayou Buffalo tasted slightly different too. Docking some score for making me pay extra for a biscuit with my meal. I understand that in the states they lob it in with the price of a meal, but I did NOT like clicking that extra button. I crave Popeyes biscuits, so it was interesting to bite into one that was more cornbread style than what I’m typically used to.
Something I must commend about Spain Popeyes is that they get the order correct. I have had too many battles with the Southside Popeyes location. They don’t bring drinks, bring the wrong sides. It’s more surprising when they get the order correct. It’s amazing how low our standards are for fast food in the States sometimes.
#2 – McDonald’s
The one I visited in Barcelona is far and away the cleanest McDonald’s location I have ever visited. The menu items are bigger, and more satisfying. Potato wedges also make an appearance here, which is fantastic because I’m not the biggest fan of McDonald’s fries to begin with. They were seasoned, tasted great with the variety of sauces I got. I hope they bring these to the States, but I doubt they would. The Sprite was quite similar to the rest of the Sprite in Spain. There’s no godlike McDonald’s sprite like in the States. I can only imagine that McDonald’s Sprite is what the Greek Gods of old drank. Getting a McFlurry included in the meal was nice. I wish I could select the mix in, but I’m not complaining about more food.
#1 – Taco Bell
Taco Bell is something I deeply fear in the states. I have only had Taco Bell one time in my life before this trip. It wasn’t my decision. Yet in Spain it is a completely different ball game. Good portions, chicken that actually feels and tastes like chicken, and Nacho Fries all the time. It’s seasoned well, and was the perfect energy boost to fighting through the last of the jet lag. Taco Bell also had a basement that was a straight vibe, so much so that there was a couple having a romantic moment down there while me and the 6 other exhausted dudes were quietly eating. Felt like a cut scene from Lady Bird or Adventureland. Dreams are made in Taco Bell here.